Memoirs

It's been one year already since our beloved mother passed away which was a result of organ complications brought by her diabetes that she has been sustaining for over a decade. I wrote this piece of memoir almost eleven months ago while waiting for my flight from Cebu to Manila. I wanted to keep this piece to myself but recently, I decided to share it in my blog in time for mama's first death anniversary.

It was an ordinary day in Cebu. I did not feel any complaint from my usually clattered pad so I did the usual routine of putting myself to bed after a long day at work. As I brought myself to sleep, I had a sudden gaze at my phone which was lying near my books on a corner of my pad. Not the usual thing but I checked my almost forgotten gadget which I seldom bring when I head to the office for work. My phone’s look was enticing on that day, so I checked for messages. A couple of messages were left unread so I decided to check what’s up with the world. It was my sister. I needed to go home for the weekend as Mama was rushed to the hospital. 

I thought, that was not new because Mama has always been in the hospital lately due to a couple of health complications brought by her diabetes which she has been sustaining for over a decade already. The last time I was with her in the hospital, she has been so weak although she stayed positive. She was occupying a bayside private room in a hospital in Bohol which she would always mess about because she thought it was somebody’s home or she was in a hotel. I would usually end up kidding or even bragging just to take away her worries on the hospital bills. Such confinement led to the amputation of her only foot but the good thing was recovery became brighter after the operation. In fact, she has been telling us that she already wanted to go home as air is fresher there. After almost a month of stay in the hospital, she was eventually sent home for further recovery and I stayed positive on that. On the day I went back to Cebu for work, I told her that I am going to see her the following month and I was emphatic when I said that she should be better during that time. We had a deal!

Knowing Mama, I knew she could make herself better that’s why I did not worry that much when I learned that she was rushed back to the hospital. I thought, things just needed to get better and it was good   for her to stay in the hospital again for further medication. However, I was wrong with my foresight. I was so devastated to see Mama helplessly and unconsciously fighting with the doctors who were trying to insert tubes in her mouth. I wished I could take her place and seize all the pain she was experiencing at that moment. I stood up in her front clueless of what I wanted to do. Should I hug her? Should I kiss her? Should I tell her how much I love her? No words and actions ensued – only tears which started to flow down my cheeks. I wanted to stay positive but I could not be optimistic watching such a dreadful situation of Mama.

Then I talked to her. She would not respond but I knew she was listening – Mama was a very good listener. She used to stay late listening to my absurd plans and ideas. Even if she could no longer relate sometimes, she would still listen. Such thought made me feel better. I continued to talk to her and took her back to what we agreed on before I left for Cebu for work. She tried to grasp my hand and held me tightly. She tried to move her legs showing that she did her best to be better. Then I and my siblings started to recall fond memories which compelled Mama to speak but she could not utter any word. She only tried to open her eyes to let us know that she was listening.

After few hours, we needed to bring her to the radiology department for brain scan. I was on her side telling her that things should get better and assuring her that we will do our very best to bring her out from such agony. She opened her eyes again and gazed at me. Tears started to flow from her aging eyes. I knew she wanted to tell something. That was the last time I saw her eyes open. 

The following days were emotionally challenging. Mama could no longer respond. She could not feel any pain. She could not move any part of her body. The only hint that life still went on for Mama were the figures shown in the machine attached in some parts of her body. Without those machines, we would not have any clue that life was still good for her. Doctors and nurses visited from time to time to tell us the real situation – it was almost hopeless. I drew some positive impulses from my brain and tried to convince myself that hope has never left us. I wanted to tell those medical practitioners that they were wide of the mark. Everyone was telling me to let Mama go as that was the only way her suffering could be ended yet I could not. Even though I tried, words would never come out from my mouth but tears would flow instead. The pain was almost unbearable seeing Mama in such a situation. That time, I was in the verge of believing that I was only waiting for the moment that those figures in the machines attached to her body would tell me that Mama could no longer be with us – FOREVER.

The following morning, I had a heart to heart talk with Mama’s doctor. I was telling her what kind of fighter Mama was. I was asking him if they could still pull things off and do something to save Mama. I got a positive response from him. He talked to all of us. He assured us that a specialist would come in few minutes to discuss the options left. However, Mama could no longer wait. She stopped breathing before further medical options could be discussed. I thought that was not fair but I had to accept the reality no matter how hard it sucked. Doctors tried to save the last few breaths of Mama but they no longer could. During those last moments, I could not say anything but the word “MAMA” – the very word I first learned to utter when I was still a young boy cuddled in her arms and probably the last word she heard from me. January 31, 2012 is a day that will always be engraved in my heart for it was the very day I lost an endearing mother who knew no other good but my and my siblings’ own good. 

That same word I continued to utter on the day of her funeral. MAMA sounds so endearing to me. Even if I could no longer hear any response from her when I call her with such a sweet name she taught me to speak, it is still relieving to appreciate that I had and will ever have someone I could call Mama. I always presume no response but I know that Mama is still with us because she lives in our heart. 

Keep your spirit high!

It is a reality in our existence that everything is not within our control. All that we could positively deal with is our attitude – how we would look at each submerging situation in a much lighter manner – it’s our own line of attack. Changing one’s way of thinking towards things is, indeed, a very good approach to coping with stress which is so common in an environment where everyone is required to be always on the go.

If truth be told, last month was very stressful for me – stressful in a way that I almost stopped thinking about how to deal with every piece of my priority. I was too behind my quota at work and I could barely figure out a way to strike it right at its eye. I also had some research papers presented for my graduate class and I could say that such was a product of my mediocrity. Not to mention, I also hardly complied some of the requirements in one of my subjects in the graduate school. I could have done better but there’s no way to look back because no matter what, everything has been done and change is awkward when doing it backward. Nevertheless, I learned from it and all I could do now is to learn from such experience and move forward with a better perspective.

I believe everything is doable with a positive spirit. I just need to learn to set priorities and as Stephen Covey suggested in his best-selling book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” you need to put FIRST THINGS FIRST. It all needs to start with the questions “What are my priorities?” and “How can I logically put them together?” With these questions, obviously, there is no time to waste for every moment counts for every preference. I might find it difficult to pack my sleepy head off to work on a graveyard shift. I might find it difficult to keep myself awake while working with my clients in the other side of the world on an eight-hour shift when everyone else in the neighborhood is enjoying the comfort of their bed. I might find it difficult to work with my course works after spending the whole night at work. Everything might be so difficult but no one ever forced me do what I am doing. It was my choice and it’s all up to me how I am going to work on them. Failure is not an alternative so I’ll work this out with passion. As a line in the Holstee Manifesto goes, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you don’t like your job, quit… start doing things you love.”

If every moment in life is a battle to win, then I need to be the victor. After all, this is my own life. From now on, I will keep my spirit high!

"Every day might not be good, but there's something good in every day."  - Anonymous

To my followers and fellow bloggers:

I am back to blogging and, yes, I could rant again. What a relief! Happy reading folks! If you’re still dropping by, please let me know by leaving some words in the comment box. At least, I would know that I am not talking all by myself here. (laughs)            

  

Found the X Factors

My decision of going back home in the middle of my immersion to foreign culture was one of the most difficult decisions I made. Difficult it might have been, I easily gave up a huge portion of my investment including my passion and my ambition of getting an international master's degree in education.

The thought of pursuing my teaching career here in the Philippines and being close with my loved ones erased all the second thoughts. However, things did not happen the way I planned. Instead of finding myself in the learning hub, I grabbed the enticing offer of the growing call center industry in the country where I eventually worked in a field I never imagined. The pay was good and the benefits were promising but I never found myself there so I decided to leave and planned to settle for less pay yet gratifying job. I eyed for public service but the public didn't seem to like my service so I decided not to pursue. No matter how ridiculous my thought was, I couldn't put myself into the level of following a questionable system like I never had my own shot of education.

Leaving the vaccine of frustration, I went for an offshore publishing industry where I am currently being trained as Publishing Consultant. The nature of the job is so promising and the management seems to be very supportive not only to my growth in the company but to my personal and professional growth as well. I never thought of the possibility of  learning the nature of the publishing industry together with the principles of mathematics but it's happening before my very eyes right now. Such reason alone motivates me to put things into the next level. 

If there is one thing that I need to learn from this, that is building confidence from the trust that people give you. Do not abuse the considerations that people are giving. Instead, leverage your performance from such trust. I am only starting and it should be a good start! 

NOTE: Special mention to my trainer (who must not be named) for the support and understanding when I mentioned that I would be enrolling for MS Math and to my professors who consider sending problem sets with me every time I would miss my classes because I need to go to work.         

Change

It's been repeatedly said that "Change is the only permanent thing in this world." and if there is something constant in this walk, that must be change. This is perhaps the reason why I love listening and singing Jose Mari Chan's meaningful song named Constant Change. As the lyrics of the song goes, "We're on the road, we move from place to place and every time when I'm about to call it home we'd have to move along coz life's a constant change." This is exactly what I am feeling right now.

After being so used with the profession which I learned to love and philosophically adhered to for more than four years, I had to say goodbye from it and start with a new journey where everything seems to be very strange. The workplace is so diverse and the culture is so different. The way we do our job is also totally different from the way I used to do things. 

From being a Mathematics teacher abroad, I decided to give myself a break from the teaching arena by entering into the corporate world as a customer service associate and since it is offshore and outsourced, I will be handling customers through phone calls. I have been into customer relations almost five years ago when I worked as marketing assistant in one of the fast food chains in the Philippines but because I will be handling different product and different customers this time and such experience has almost been outdated, I really need to learn and absorb a couple of theories and techniques which I first thought I would be able to do at once. I was looking at the holistic picture of the job when I was only entailed to look at the details and work on them. I realized that it's really different and if there were things which I learned before, I need to leave them behind for the sake of my new career. I will never be able to grab hold of the new learning opportunities I will have in this new job without putting aside some if not all of the experiences I had. I need to empty my mind so that I will be able to fill it up with refreshed ideas.

How gratifying this new job might be, I am not telling myself to totally quit from teaching for I know that one day soon I would be back to that wonderful profession. If time will permit and opportunity will allow, I will still engage myself with a variety of talks, special classes for children, youths and adults, individualized tutorial and even education consultancy. The opportunity to help and educate people is just too difficult to lose. 

A New Beginning

A big box in the corner of my flat has been gradually crammed with some stuff I gathered in the past four years and they all prompted me to accept the truth that my days in Thailand are almost coming to a close. 

It’s been four years already but time seems to be very swift to let those moments pass like a flashing monsoon.  I used to feel a mixture of excitement and some pieces of melancholy but as time went by, everything became fine and traces of regrets and doubts could never be found in my part. I believe, this decision is the best that I could ever have this time. Now, allow me to look back those times when I was only starting to work here in the Land of Smiles.

Thailand has been my first destination abroad and I started my journey here as young educator last September 2006 when I luckily landed a teaching job in a government school in the country’s smallest province. Life seemed to be very tough in the beginning. I had to do a couple of first-times and I also had to deal with plenty of embarrassments caused by my ignorance to the culture of the people whom I have been dealing with. They all became parts of my life and in one way or another; they have shaped me into what I am now.

After eighteen months of working with the young kids in the province, I then started to trudge a new road in the country’s capital city where I taught Mathematics to primary students in a newly offered bilingual curriculum for teaching and learning Mathematics in a prominent Catholic school. After one school year, I then went to the secondary level and taught Mathematics to Grade 8 and Grade 11 students. This school year, I was tasked to teach one level in the lower secondary and two levels in the upper secondary. Working with those teenage students who could be very wild at times was really challenging yet equally fulfilling. I learned a lot from them and they shaped a huge part of me.  

I would always look back with a grateful heart to those years I had in my life where I got to work with people who defined some pieces of me. Meanwhile, I would also be looking forward to the many possibilities that I would have back home. It’s not goodbye. It’s welcome to a new beginning.

CHOICES

From the moment we wake-up until we end the day at the comfort of our bed, we are inundated with choices which definitely influence every subsequent action in the verve of our existence. Some of them may sound insignificant but, in actual effect, every choice we make is a crucial decision that enormously defines the shape of our being. Every choice we make either brings us closer to or farther from our preferred destination.

In the course of our decision, we might have been wondering why we opted for a particular thing over the others. What are the reasons in every decision we make and what are the inner motivations that drive us towards a particular decision? Dr. William Glasser, a famous psychiatrist who coined the Choice Theory, identified the intrinsic needs of every human being which provide the foundation for all the motivations which compel us to decide on a particular choice. According to him, every human being calls for love and connection with others (relationship), a sense of competence and personal power (self-fulfillment), a certain degree of freedom and autonomy, joy and fun (happiness) and survival. People choose a particular choice not because of the external stimulus acting upon them but because of the intrinsic motivations which are associated with their inherent needs mentioned earlier. For example, a person would not cross the street on green lights because he knows that people need to stop on green lights but because he has the inner drive that he might be hit by a vehicle when he would decide to cross. It’s not the light that makes the person stop but the fear that he might lose his life when he decides to cross the street. Therefore, motivation is internal. That is why I love to call great speakers as inspirational rather than motivational. There are speakers who could inspire us to do something but the motivation is in us. If one of our needs has been hit, surely we would do something.

Indisputably, our genetic supremacy to pick out a particular choice over the others is the very thing that lies in the narrow line that distinguishes human beings from animals. Whatever we are today, these are all outcomes of the decisions we made before. No one needs to be blamed for we are all responsible of our own actions. We’ve been given the choices and the freedom to choose and it’s our response to those choices that highly matters.

Problems Are Blessings in Disguise

"Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution. If you don't have any problem, you don't get any seed."- Norman Vincent Peale

I am trying to imagine how life could have been without problems. Absolutely, there would be no sorrows and pains. But how it would be like? Unimaginable, I believe.

When stricken with problems, a lot of things usually happen in me. Aside from my immediate painful reaction, I flinch on digging out for as many solutions as I could. I take every possible step towards its solution and, to say, it's never been easy but I learned a lot.

I realize that a problem could be a blessing in disguise for every journey towards its solution provides building blocks of experiences which could eventually hone our character. Without problems, life would never be the same for problems in their own way had brought me to where I am right now. Faith, perseverance, honesty and ingenuity were just some of the values I developed while facing life's many problems.

I hope we could continue to optimistically look at life's many perplexities!

Efren Penaflorida: There's a Hero in Us

Efren Penaflorida (Kuya Ef), a young Filipino who initiated "Pushcart Classroom" through the Dynamic Teen Company which he instigated to divert the youth's attention from gangsterism to simple act of voluntarism was named CNN Hero of the year.

I have been following Kuya Ef's inspiring story of heroism in helping the children in the slum areas in the Philippines by providing them education. What made his story more inspiring is when I learned that Kuya Ef did not come from a well-off family. Like the children he and his co-volunteers are helping, Kuya Ef was raised by his father who is a tricycle driver and his mother who is a plain housewife. He was able to finish high school and college (with a degree in BS Education) through Club 8586 -- a Christian people development organization committed in reaching out to families, campuses and communities. As I read and watched the video of Kuya Ef's extraordinary commitment to help people, I learned "again" that we all have something to share if we only want to share.

During the awarding night, as Kuya Ef accepted the honor as CNN Hero of the Year, he left a very astounding statement which is, for me, a wake-up call for all of us. With simplicity and all modesty, he expressed, "Our planet is filled with heroes, young and old, rich and poor, man, woman of different colors, shapes and sizes. We are one great tapestry. Each person has a hidden hero within, you just have to look inside you and search it in your heart, and be the hero to the next one in need. So to each and every person inside this theater and for those who are watching at home, the hero in you is waiting to be unleashed. ...You are the change that you dream, as I am the change that I dream, and collectively we are the change that this world needs to be." It was a very simple yet profound statement that would always be engraved in this blog and in my heart.

As an educator, Kuya Ef's life is a great inspiration and I do agree in him that the hero in us is just waiting to be unleashed. It's not all about how much we have but it's all about how much we are willing to share. A simple act of heroism could take many forms and could mean many different things like an encouraging word, a helping hand, an appreciative expression and so on. We only have to believe that there is a hero within us.

"True service to others is not an issue of scope or scale, for we may serve one, some or many -- through the smallest act of kindness or most noble feat of sacrifice."

-- Matthew May

Believe When Nobody Does

I started writing when I was in high school. Writing was just a part of my hobby and a way of expressing my frustration to be one of our school's representatives in the press conference and be trained on the basics of campus journalism. It was my dream to have one of my articles/poems published in our school publication but it never came into reality. I finished high school without experiencing the joy of having my name printed in the school paper.

Although frustrated, I never stopped believing that I could have my name printed in a school publication someday. Since I already graduated high school that time, my only chance was to achieve such dream in college. I was hoping that my English teacher would send me to the local campus journalism workshop one day so I could hone my writing skills and would have chances to join campus-based writing contests which were the only key toward joining the staff of the school publication and have one's articles published. I already took two English classes during first year but none of my teachers recommended me in any of the campus journalism workshops held in the college. I was a bit frustrated but I never lost hope.

When I was in second year college, I joined the campus journalism workshop sponsored by our college publication even if it would cost me two consecutive days of absence from my classes. I was not recommended by any teacher. I was just asked by one of the publication staff if I was interested to join and without hesitation, I said "YES". I knew my limitations in writing (especially in grammar and correct usage) yet I also knew that it was my only way to achieve my dream and taking that opportunity for granted would be the worst decision that I could ever make because I knew that the days were counting and too soon I would be leaving that college and I could not afford to leave without having my dream fulfilled.

I attended all the workshops on that two-day activity and joined every contest I was qualified to join. I had my shot on feature writing, editorial writing, news writing and copy reading, photojournalism and poetry writing. Of all the contests I've joined, I luckily got third prize in poetry writing. My poem "Unleash Me!" which was written on the spot (right after the poetry writing workshop) got the third prize and that qualified me to become one of the staff writers for our college publication in the same school year. From then on, I had my articles and poems published in our college publication and was given chances to improve my writing skills by attending in various seminar-workshops.

Unexpectedly, on that same school year, because of my active participation in our school publication, I was luckily chosen to be one of the school's representatives in a national youth leaders' seminar in Baguio City (Philippines' summer capital). There, I had the chance to meet youth leaders and fellow writers from all over the country and became a part of a timely national youth leadership newsletter. Indeed, I had my works published not only in a school paper but in a national newsletter as well. I thought, "This is more that what I imagined."

The following school year, I became a literary editor for our school publication and attended more writing and literary workshops like Literary Criticism Workshop with a group of Boholano poets and Film Appreciation Workshop presented by University of the Philippines film professor and director Nick de Ocampo.

With those experiences in life I learned that when no one seems to believe in us, we could still run to ourselves and keep our dreams alive with strong conviction that with passion and hard work, we could still make our dreams into reality. In the same way, we always have to do our best and show that we are capable so people would know. I admit, I was not that good in writing and I do commit a lot of mistakes but deep within me, I had a dream and I continued to believe in it.

If we want people to look at us with belief, respect and admiration, we need to look at ourselves that way first. We need to understand that we are what we believe we are. It's not other people's criticisms that make us feel down but it's our way of perceiving those criticisms and comments that build or destroy our character. Apparently, we need to maintain a positive outlook towards life for we are the molders of our own dreams.

"No one can stop a man with the right attitude but nobody in the world can help a man with the wrong attitude."

Are We Ready?

Thailand's English as Second/Foreign Language (ESL/EFL) industry is, without doubts, a Filipino-dominated industry as most of the foreign teachers employed to teach English and other content subjects are Filipinos. The ESL/EFL industry in Thailand is not that promising compared to other countries but, nevertheless, it's easier to come to Thailand for a job than in other countries. Most of the teachers here, came to Thailand as tourists who then applied for a working permit after finding an employer.

However, the salary that one could probably earn here is not as high as those who are working in other countries but because of its cheaper cost of living, it is not that difficult to make both ends meet. Many of us here could still send a good amount of money to help our families back home and we could send and save even better if we are hardworking enough to accept additional classes during non-working hours. We could go for private one-on-one tutorials or small class tutorials in learning centers. However, no one is assured of a stable job because most of the foreign workers here are working in contractual basis and usually we work under one-year contract and the thing is, most of the learning centers and even some schools do not provide work permit to their foreign teachers.

No one is assured of a lifetime job here in Thailand. Recently, a huge government project handled by two big universities in Bangkok made unlikely changes in their employment contract causing exodus of foreign teachers for some of them left while others were unfortunately evicted from the project. I don't know if it's another bad news from Thailand's ESL industry but I have read an article that a big English language center in Thailand would be ending its operation this year because it's planning to move to another Asian country where the business could be more promising. Over time, we have seen how the industry dropped that no wonder a time would come that only very few of the foreign teachers would be needed here.

In reality, the future is not ours but we could do something for our future by preparing for it as early as today. We have to face life positively and we could only do that if we know that we are financially secure. The future is not ours yet the present has been given to us so that we would be ready if ever the inevitable moments would struck. Make every moment of today a preparation of tomorrow for no one knows what would happen the following day.

Make Failure Your Best Friend

Oftentimes, we are so afraid to try because we are afraid that we might fail. For most of us,failure is an enemy that we need to avoid. However, the truth is human beings are born imperfect and the only way for us to move toward perfection is to try all the possibilities without having much focus on the failures that we would surely encounter along the way. We need to learn from those failures. We can make failure our best friend.

According to an e-mail forwarded by a friend, we need to maximize our day. Thanks to Sir Rolly, one of my mentors, for forwarding this wonderful message from John C. Maxwell which I believe worthy to be shared to everyone.


MAKE FAILURE YOUR BEST FRIEND

When you are able to learn from any bad experience and thereby turn it into a good experience, you make a major transition in life. For years I've taught something that I think gives useful insight on the subject of life:

People change when they...
Hurt enough that they have to,
Learn enough that they want to, and
Receive enough that they are able to.

I learned the truth of that statement on a whole new level on December 18, 1998. While at my company's Christmas party, I felt an excruciating pain in my chest, and I went down for the count. I suffered from a serious heart attack. My heart attack was a painful and surprising experience, but I feel that God was very good to me at that process. Several excellent physicians rallied around me and made it possible for me not only to survive but also to avoid any permanent hear damage.

My cardiologist, Dr. Marshall, told me that men who survive an early heart attack and learn from it live longer and healthier lives that those who never suffer a heart attack. I am determined to learn from the experience. I changed my diet. I exercise and try to live a more balanced life. I had to admit that it's sometimes a struggle, but I'm persevering. I've taken to heart Jim Rohn's comment: "Don't let your learning lead to knowledge; let your learning lead to action. "

-- Failing Forward

USE PAINFUL EXPERIENCE AS A CATALYST TO NOT ONLY LEARN BUT TO LEAD YOU TO GREATER ACTION.


I hope that this message from John Maxwell will make your day and will lead you bolder actions toward your dreams. Life has never promised us that we will be traversing a smooth road. However, life has always been teaching us that we can make the best out of everything. LIVE LIFE and ACHIEVE your GOALS!

From the Philippine Countryside to an International Degree in Thailand

Almost five years ago, I dreamed of pursuing my post-graduate studies in another country. I knew that such dream was so ambitious for a man whose parents' fickle income only depends to a very little farm in the remote area away from the Philippines' irrigation program. If pursuing bachelor's degree in a state college through a government aid was that tough back then, how about an international degree in another country? Such dream was so pathetic for a struggling part-time crew in a fastfood chain.

Not minding the resources that we have, a very strong lesson on valuing one's dreams (whether big or small) has been taught to us by our parents. As a child, whenever I told my parents about my dream of becoming a teacher, a lawyer, an owner of a nice vehicle and a beautifully landscaped concrete house and other things that an innocent child could think for the future, my parents would usually answer back with the word "POHON" which means "in the future". For sure, they knew what they could only afford. I understood that they did not try to give me false hope. Instead, they instilled an inspiration and strong conviction that with patience, hardwork and faith I would be able to achieve all my dreams. My mother, a religion teacher, used to tell me, "Iampo lang." (Just pray for it). Her statement inspired a resounding faith to me.

Bragging aside, me and my four siblings were able to finish college not because my parents had all the resources to send us to college but because they all had the desire and the vision to see their five children finishing a college degree no matter what. As students, we were always reminded not to indulge ourselves into unnecessary things because all of those could be enjoyed by us in due time. If we want to achieve our dreams, we need to sacrifice for nothing is instant in this world. Everything that comes to life, you have to work for it.

Last year, I have embarked for an international master's degree in Educational Administration here in Thailand, still, with my parents continuous encouragements. Although trials came along the way and some are still coming for sure especially for a self-supporting student like me, I still believe that no limitation could hurdle a determined dreamer. Right now, I am on the final stage of my study -- thesis writing. While working as full-time Mathematics teacher, I also have to work for my research study which will be hopefully scheduled for internal panel defense soon.

I could not imagine how I came this far. From a simple dream woven by a poor man from the Philippine countryside, thoughts are gradually turning into reality. I know it's not something that I could brag about but I am sure that this story of a dreamer could be an inspiration to hopeless individuals who think that we could do nothing with our present. Precisely, as my parents have taught me, we can always choose which path to trudge and do the best that we could to turn our dreams into reality.

Claiming Our Own Responsibility

Months ago, I heard a news in BBC about an Austrian man who abducted his own daughter for a couple of years. This man was able to hide his secret for a long time that people never thought about his darkest secret -- he imprisoned his very own daughter in his house, raped her and had children with her. Another abduction case recently happened in America to an 11-year old girl kidnapped 18 years ago and made a sex slave by a ruthless sex maniac. The girl even bore a child with that man at the age of 14. And then a while ago, a heart-breaking story about a 2-year old boy who was cut open, had his intestines and inner organs removed and then stuffed with Cocaine caused me a very wild impression of the world that we are currently living.

The world has totally changed. Life has given us comfort and luxury that we wanted. The word "machine" and the prefix "e-" have been attached to so many things like washing machine, vending machine, teller machine and then e-book, e-shopping, e-mail and so on and so forth. Yes, many things have changed but what is unbearable to all these changes is the fact that some people's perception have totally changed. The way some people give importance to their lust and the material words around them have rippled in almost (if not all) every corner of the world that would make us doubt the safety that this world could bring to us.

All these changes were undoubtedly created by men and so the problems brought by these changes actually rooted from ourselves. People are suffering from the consequences brought by their unruly treatment to the environment. Nobody could be blamed except us. Life has given us everything for free but it's us who made everything expensive. We are suffering but then we deserve to experience all these things. What is unacceptable is that the new generation, the young and the innocents have been affected. It's a shame in our part because we have inherited the world better and now, we will pass it on to the coming ages full of dirt that, still, we could not picture out how the budding world citizens could enjoy the blessings of nature that we have experienced before.

But then, it's never been late to do the things that we believe will save our world for the next generation to enjoy. Let's do our part for even small good things that we do to ourselves and to others would possibly cause great impact.

If those people who did worse thing in the community rippled around the world, then it's not impossible that our collective small deeds would also bring great waves to everyone.

Khun Pinoy's Thailand Teaching Adventure

Going abroad is a dream of almost every Filipino. Millions of Filipinos are scattered in every part of the world working in different fields. And yes, I am one of them. An ordinary Filipino citizen, I left my country full of ambition and hope for myself, my family and my country.

After learning that Thailand is opening its doors for foreign ESL/EFL teachers, I confidently crammed up my things and headed to the “land of smiles”. At first, making such decision was very hard since that would be my first time to stay away from my family. However, as I glimpsed on the brighter side of working abroad, I easily made my decision firm and immediately dealt with my passport and other preparations for my flight going to Thailand.

Things happened promptly that I woke up early one day joining the buoyant applicants in the field of language teaching. I really thought that things would turn out the way I expected them to happen but it was the other extreme. Contrary to what I believed, seeking for a job has never been that easy in Thailand. As twenty-year-old neophyte in the arena, I have encountered plenty of appalling incidents along the way such as the slur of not being entertained because I am not a Caucasian, the frustration of not being understood when asking for directions, the bleakness of applying in the remote areas in the provinces where nobody understands my purpose for coming in their school and many others. In all honesty, I was in an uphill struggle before I landed a teaching job in Thailand. However, I did my best to hurdle every impediment along the way just to find a shelter that would embrace my ambition of joining Thailand's international teaching force.

As any job-hunter would experience, my application in different schools has been turned down for various reasons (i.e. no vacancy, they need English native speakers only, I am too young, etc.). But still, I did not lose hope and continued to believe my dreams. Luckily, a Filipino acquaintance while attending Sunday mass in a Catholic church offered help by guiding me to a province called Samutsongkhram. That province is the smallest in Thailand composed of only three districts. Of all the schools I have visited that day, I was lucky enough to hear positive response from the head of the English Department of the last school I visited. Although she said that they already have two English native speaking foreign teachers from Canada and England, I could still sense her eagerness to hire another foreign teacher.

The following week, I received a phone call from that same school. They asked me to come for interview and teaching demonstration. Eventually, I passed in the interview and demonstration lesson with a unanimous vote from all English teachers in that school. That very day, I assured them that if given a chance to work in their school, I would do my best to showcase the ability of the Filipino teachers. I could still clearly remember how I reassured them that as a Filipino hoping to teach in Thailand, I would do my best not to disappoint my very own country and so their school. Yes, that sounded like an interview cliche.

That good news I received was not the end of my battle but the beginning of my real journey as an OFW. With my family's unending encouragement although they're very far and my conviction that life would not give me something I couldn't bear, I leaped over the challenge of teaching young Thai kids who have zero or very limited English. It was my first time to teach seven-year-old kids in an actual classroom situation and what added to that first time experience was the fact that most of those kids have just started learning English as their foreign language. Most of them could hardly utter even simple greetings in English. That experience was really challenging and very fulfilling at the same time especially when I heard them speak the language for the first time.

Over the months, I taught classes of different levels until I was permanently assigned in the 6th Grade. I showed great interest and respect to my students' culture, tradition, interests and identity and provided the help they needed whenever possible. I have been with them in almost every English contest they joined including the unforgettable Skit Contest which brought us to the provincial and national levels. In return, my students eagerly shared what they have by helping me understand their culture and feel happy about it. Interestingly, I learned Thai language from my students.

In the end, I have understood the real value of teaching abroad from my young Thai students. My perspective towards my profession has become more global and diverse. In the light of teaching, I have seen how my passion and dedication changed the lives of my students. I realized that my decision to go abroad has never been in vain for I have harvested more than what I have expected. As I look back the difference I made in my students' lives, I never thought of my main reason in coming to Thailand anymore for I got more than what I really wanted.

The following school year, my school hired another Filipino to work with me. However, after teaching there for one year and six months, I left for a better teaching opportunity and better pay in Bangkok. The best thing was their trust in me was still there although I was leaving because, for the last time, they asked me a favor to find a replacement who is a Filipino and if possible, "as good as me". I left that school with pride and looked forward for another bountiful experience to show my ability as Filipino teacher in a huge Catholic school in Bangkok, Thailand. So far, I just had my contract renewed last June 2009 for another one year and I am still looking forward on continuing my teaching career in Thailand for the next few years.

My being a Filipino will never end every time I leave the Philippines for wherever my fate brings me, my heart will always linger to my very own roots. Doing my best and expressing my passion to my host country would not necessarily mean that I am treacherous to my own country for every good thing I do for this temporary home of mine is a reminder that as an OFW, I give hope to our nation and I share blessings to the rest of the world.

Mabuhay ang mga OFWs!

Post Script: This blog post is an official entry to Pinoy Expats Blog Awards (PEBA) 2009. For more information about this award-giving body, click the image below

Towards a Healthy and Happy Lifestyle

Never borrow from the future.. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain.. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice. If you want to live a healthy and happy life, the following advices could be of great help to you. Take time to read and follow these advices and you will be amazed how great life can be.


1. Pray
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say NO to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns . If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety . If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it..
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest
18. Eat right.
19 Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good 'Thank you Jesus .'
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
32. Sit on your ego.
33 Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
36 Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAYOF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.

Post Script: These pieces of advice are from an e-mail sent by a friend. Do you have something to say? Please leave your comments by clicking COMMENTS at the bottom of this post.

FIERCE CONVICTIONS

Being an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) at a young age, I have encountered plenty of first-times here in Thailand and one of them is becoming totally independent from my parents who truly pampered me since then. Ever since, I never imagined of living in a land miles away from my Mama and Papa. However, things have changed when I started to mold my own dreams, made my own stories of success and decided to take huge steps to fulfill them. I knew it was not easy but I had to take the risk or else my thoughts would remain as they were. As Mama and Papa have always told me, "Agwantaha ang tanan kay asa ra man na kung magmalampuson na ka pohon." (Just sacrifice in order to achieve your dreams.) I always believed that the pains that I had to go through were parts of the sacrifices that I had to endure in order to reach the top.

Undeniably, the things that we want do not just ordinarily come out of the blue. We need to sacrifice. In spite of that, the choice is still ours for we could turn sacrifices into pleasure that would always be a part of our growth as individuals. By looking back at those moments in my life wherein I tried to delight myself through the pains which I should have felt, a piece of thought runs over my mind that tells me the reason why I am still living and smiling freely.

I live because I believe. I believe that I have my parents who believe in me. I believe that I have an awesome God who perfectly puts everything according to His plan. Because of them and other people who love me, I live with a strong belief that I can and I can because of my FIERCE CONVICTIONS.

FAVORITE QUOTATIONS

I am a person who really admires quotations. They might just be simple expressions but they cause great impacts in our lives. Every situation that we face in life whether it's happy, sad or the other way around has a corresponding quotation that in one way or another will rekindle our inner spirit and will remind us that life, after all, is worth living.

HERE ARE SOME OF THEM... I hope these quotes would also rekindle your inner spirits.

"Sometimes our light goes out but is blown again into flame by an encounter with another human being. Each of us owes the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light."
--Albert Schweitzer

"Everyone has the power of greatness; not for fame, but greatness. Because greatness is determined by service."
-- Dr. Martin Luther King

"We must be the change we want to see in the world."
-- Mahatma Gandhi

"When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that's present... we experience heaven on earth."
-- Sarah Breathnatch

"You only have to do a very few things right in your life -- so long as you don't do too many things wrong."
-- Warren Buffett

"The only safe thing is to take a chance."
-- Mike Nichols and Elaine May

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless."
-- Mother Teresa

"The time is always right to do what is right."
-- Martin Luther King, Jr.

"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
-- Nelson Mandela

"The best and most beautiful things in life cannot be seen, not touched, but are felt in the heart."
-- Helen Keller

"Failure is the only opportunity to begin again more intelligently."
-- Henry Ford

BE HAPPY

I've always thought that happiness is relative and plenty of my life experiences have really proven that happiness is a choice which everybody can choose to enjoy. We can choose to be happy even if everybody doesn't seem to be and everything seems to be very down from the peak where we are standing. It's so simple to achieve a happy life for it all depends in us.

Do you want to be happy? Of course, you do!

Simply put life as it should be in order to feel the feeling of contentment that we have been longing for. Do the things which you hate to do and keep on cursing while doing it. You know, life would eventually listen at your complaints and it would exactly give you what you really wanted. Start the day with an utmost regret that you have to face the day again. Curse the sun for shining when you still want to enjoy the comfort of your bed. As you go to the bathroom and feel that the water is too cold, shout and ask why it doesn't coincide with the temperature that you wanted. Actually, water has a life of its own and it could make itself hot when you complain.

Are you now heading for work? Well, you don't like it, do you? Continue to hate it and you will be very productive for the rest of the day. You will even enjoy it that you could expect that you will be promoted the following day. And then, you will surely encounter people you don't like and they do make you happy. Curse them and continue to express your hate to them - they will be sad and you will be happy in the end.

Now, have you thought of the things you wanted in life and wondered why they did not come? Frankly speaking, they really came but you unconsciously blew them away because you were overwhelmed by your happiness. It sound so cool right? It's even sounds cooler to curse life again - it would make you happier.



To live a happy life, simply throw what you do have and envy for the things that you don't have. Be regretful for what life has offered. Yes, staying happy simply means living a life full of bashful mouth, ill mind and totally damaged emotion. You can live this kind of HAPPY life if you want and slap your face if at the end of the day you end up crying in a corner because everything seems to be very cruel. You have to take a rest, indeed, and be ready to slap your face once more.

You do understand what I meant, don't you? If you don't, then you have to e-mail me for a HAPPINESS THERAPY. LOL

Sharing What We Don’t Have?

How many times have we been disheartened because the people we love do not even show love and respect for themselves? We want to give those advices and hold them back as much as possible for we desire nothing but their own happiness but nothing seems to happen. At times, we give up our own happiness just to ensure our love ones’ but we both end up being dejected for we become foiled together.

When all those things happened, have we asked ourselves what went wrong? Have we reflected on why people refused to be happy when we offered them our shoulder? Have we been frustrated because we were not able to share the happiness that we wanted to share? Loads and loads of questions can be asked and those questions could only be answered by nobody else but ourselves as we personally reflect on our own individual lives.

No matter how much we try to make other people happy and satisfied, we will never be able to help them. Happiness is very relative that we can never define other people’s happiness the way we define it for ourselves. Let’s not be saddened by the fact that we cannot make even those people who are closest to us to be happy because we don’t have control over their lives and we could never dictate them how to feel. The best way to deal with it is to make ourselves feel the way we want others to feel. Our feelings are contagious to the people around us so we don’t have to slog just to make other people happy because we could establish it in very on get-up-and-go.

We can never make other people happy but we can show them how to live a happy life. However, in doing so, we have to make sure that we feel the bliss deep within for we could never share happiness if we don’t caress it. Yes, it’s so simple to say that we are happy although we feel exactly different. We cannot fake our emotion because it can always be seen and felt by the people around us, especially those who know us well. Hence, pretending to be happy just to make our love ones happy is nearly impossible for we could only share the very feeling that we feel and not the feeling that we want them to feel.

Yes, we are very much concerned of the people around us especially to the people we love – we want to make them happy by sacrificing our own happiness, we want to make them strong by sacrificing our own strength. However, several situations in the history of mankind have proven that we couldn't share what we don’t have. We heard the stories of those people in the history who committed suicide after achieving tremendous success in life. Kevin Carter, a renowned photographer who won the Pulitzer Prize award for feature photography, puzzled the world when he committed suicide after winning the prize. On his suicide note, he exclaimed his last words which include, "The pain of life overrides the joy to the point that joy does not exist." Right after receiving the trophy, Carter was very excited to share his victory with his love ones yet he knew deep within his real feeling which overrides the feeling that he called happiness.

Sharing has never been bad because we all live for one another, yet, we have to remember that it’s unbearable to share something we are not sure we have. We could not share our victory if we don’t feel victorious deep within, we could not share love if we don’t love ourselves, we could not share kindness if we are not kind to ourselves, we could not share our lives if we don’t live it. We could only share those things that are abundant in us just like we could not share a simple smile without having smile in our lips. We don’t have to wait for others to love us by forcing ourselves to love others because we deserve the best love and affection from ourselves. After we fully decipher the love and respect that we have for ourselves, we will enjoy loving and lending our shoulders to others.

CITATION:
The excerpt of Kevin Carter’s suicidal note was derived from Scott Macleod’s article on “The life and death of Kevin Carter.” For further reading on Kevin Carter’s life and Scott Macleod’s article, visit http://www.thisisyesterday.com/ints/KCarter.html.

Eat it Up and Spit it Out

OPINIONS. We couldn't avoid them, could we?

Every time I open a newspaper or a magazine, I couldn't deny myself from opening the opinion page. Away from those factual articles which, oftentimes, give me up-to-the-minute information, opinion-containing essays give me insights on how people perceive certain issues that confound life. Sometimes, the writers' opinions also invoke me to give out my own point of view of the issue and compare it from theirs. They often leave deliberations in my psyche which encourage me to rummage around for facts.

Lately, I have discerned that, indeed, life could never be separated from opinions just like a newspaper without editorial is not newspaper at all. As long as we do not isolate ourselves from others, we could never take fudge from those opinions which would either construct or destruct our characters.

Being an educator at a very young age, I often receive both positive and negative opinions from other people – my friends, colleagues, family, and superiors (as they call it). Naturally, I feel conceited when I hear positive opinions and inhibited when I hear negative ones. However, I always try to patch things up by not focusing on those things for I don’t believe the necessity of living an opinion-driven life. My initial reactions are just part of the so called sudden and instinctive human response.

However, people’s judgment biologically keeps on bombarding us as we live life from day to day. Seclusion could be a very good deterrence to those sharp gazes but we could not desert the reality that we are irrefutably created for one another – we live not for our own selves. The world is systematically functioning in which each one is conscientious for a particular mission.Other people’s opinion would never stop bearing us down unless we look at it in a positive way. Opinions are away from our sway and we could never say that they’re right unless supported by facts or wrong just because they don’t coincide with ours. What the world needs is respect – an unfailing deference that would not necessarily buy other’s opinion but rather the one that could listen to others and understand how such things happen. We are uniquely created and so what works for me would not necessarily work for others.

As Stephen Covey suggested in his book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” the first habit that we have to develop to become personally effective is the habit of becoming PROACTIVE. According to him, proactive people are driven by values that are independent of the weather or how people treat them.

Certainly, we have direct control over problems caused by our own behavior. We could solve it by changing our habit. However, we have indirect control over problems caused by other people’s behavior. We could not dictate them what to do and how to do. The best way to deal with all those perplexities in life is to set our attitudes right for "attitude determines our altitude".

PBA 2009 Verification Text: PBA09os67r3r